David Beckham, Diapers, Drunks, and Santa Claus

Back from my meeting tonight. I think it went well, too tired to write about it now. But, I had to tell you all about the most random thing that happened to me two nights ago. I was leaving my apartment to go to the gym about 6:30. I make the corner and stop at the light to see a group of about ten drunk guys walking past Betsy's Bar. This is not an abnormal sight for someone who lives downtown. They all start staring at the car, once again not abnormal. Let me tell you what is abnormal. When they are dressed in outfits ranging from Santa Claus to a professional soccer player to a grown man wearing nothing but a diaper. I am a little weirded out by all of this and I get even more weirded out when they start walking up to my window while Im stopped at the redlight. Great, Im about to get carjacked by a roving bunch of escaped mental patients. I roll the window down and the soccer star starts hollering in a scottish accent asking me if the car is fun to drive. I smile and say yes and he continues to ask about it. Meanwhile, the guy in the diaper is screaming "surround the car, surround the car". Santa pushes his way to the front of the group, bends down, gets about eight inches from my face, looks me square in the eye, and doesnt say a word. He quietly puts his finger up as if to say "one minute". He opens his bag of toys and begins digging through it. He digs through it for about 15 seconds and presents a childrens pair of sunglasses, complete with orange lenses and hot pink frames. He gives them to me, never saying a word, and puts his toy bag back over his shoulder and walks off. Santa was wasted. By this time, Im holding up traffic since the light has turned green and waiting to see what they'll all do next. They all got in their group and proceeded down Lavaca street to give toys to all the other people out that night I guess. I know it sounds crazy, but I cant make this stuff up. The strangest things happen to me.

The Final Holiday Post

Well gang:
This may or may not be my last post before Christmas. If it is my last post before Xmas, it will be my last post probably before the end of the year as I am leaving town the 26th and will not be back until the 30th and I doubt I will be thinking about the blog then. Anyways, you all have a really great Christmas and New Year. Ten of us are headed to the sunny slopes of Heavenly. Home just in time to go to Brent's for the UFC fight on the 30th. And then New Years. It's looking like we may go to Austin's for his party. However, I have some other buddies who have a reservation at Pure for that night. May end up there and then there is the big party at the UT Alumni center that Company Six is hosting. Dont know. Robert is coming into town so we'll see.

AOWA continues its progression. In addition to that I have a meeting this evening that could bring up some exciting stuff if it pans out. I'll fill you in if its worthwhile in my first of the year reflections on 2006 post. (I had a hard time writing that sentence without chuckling to myself). The 2006 reflection post should be fun and exciting so you all stay tuned.

Life Updates

Alright since I have been busy with finals and work I havent had a ton of time to keep everyone abreast of big news. School is done, grades were once again good. Last weekend was pretty slow. Ang and I went out with Ashley and Chris Thursday night to the Whole Foods Ice Skating Rink. Let me tell you all this was a huge disappointment. We ended up skipping ice skating and walking down and having dinner at The Roaring Fork (see the below pic for a humorous Ashley in front of GSDM on 6th Street). Slept in both days, continued to progress with the AOWA plans (its going great right now), helped Mele move from Hyde Park to 37th Street, company Christmas party last Friday night (almost had HUGE drama, but it was a case of mistakend identity).

Upcoming events, Christmas this weekend. I have once again spent way too much on everyone and bought way too many gifts for people. Going out with Chuck Friday evening on his way through town. Staying in town this weekend (excepting a trip on Saturday that I would rather not take) and packing for the big Lake Tahoe ski trip that begins Tuesday. I will be back in town the following Saturday just in time to watch Chuck Liddell beat the hell out of Tito Ortiz that night. We have a couple of options going for New Years so I am trying to not committ to anything yet. Let me know if yall have anything great going.

Blog Changes

Some of you may recall me mentioning a new blogging software I am using. Well, for now, until I figure out how to use the software, I am forced to put picture captions above the picture. I dont much like it and am actively working on how to fix it. But on a more positive note, it is much quicker and allows me to upload pics much more easily so be looking for more frequent updates.

CHRISTMAS...HEFFNER STYLE

Sorry for these pictures coming so late. I think everyone had a great time at the Christmas party. Im posting most of the more tasteful pictures on here as this party got a little risque toward the end of the evening. I think everyone had a good time. We had no drama and cleanup was a snap thanks to all those folks who stayed to the bitter end and we all drunkenly cleaned it up that night. It was a great way to kick off the holidays. However, I have to make an announcement, as of right now the parties are on hiatus for a little while. I need some time to get through the holidays and other first of the year events. But you all rest assured, for those of you who made it to my birthday last year, we are going to HAMMER that party this year. Birthday is not till April so, if I get enough of a public outcry, we may do some sort of tropical theme in February (maybe a "come meet your valentine at the beach" right before Valentines Day). We'll See.

The Cap Ex Squad Representing

The Cuz and Myself

The Gang From Upstairs

Justin and Jon Look Like They're About To Go Brokeback on Us

Ang and Ash Standing Around On Stage

Elektra, Adam's Girlfriend, Adam, and Jonathan

A Girl, Sarah, Ang, and Dustin

Kyle is Like That "Who The Hell Are You Guy" In Ken and Jen's Photo

Ashley and Ang Part Way Through The Night

My Boy Chuck In the Middle of A Snowstorm on my Couch

Rich and Austin Showing Their Skills on the Stripper Pole

Leigh Looking Terribly Interested in what Tara has to Say

Denay and Justin

Heather, My Cousin Eunice, and Two Bunnies Rich and Kyle

A Group of Gals For A Drunken Group Pic

(unfortunately I cannot locate the camera that took their picture)

BLOG UNDER FIRE!!!!

Had to stick it to the man today. Imagine my surprise when I take a break from the daily grind at the office and decide to update the blog and the dang internet filter at the company blocks the website because it says it of the "sex" category of website. I wish. So what does a person in my position do? I walk down and have the nerve to ask the IT department why in the world I cant update my blog at work. Hopefully it will be fixed tomorrow or by next week. In the meantime you are going to have to bear with me in regards to the Christmas party pics.

One more thing, I finished my finals yesterday so Im hoping to go out tonight and make some dumb decisions (see the previous post). Let you all know tomorrow. If I can find some motivation, I may post the Christmas party pictures in the next few minutes.

And on a final note. AOWA officially started today. Its an acronym that is way too embarassing to put on here. I will only tell people in person or when school starts again for me next semester. Right now there are only three people in the world who know what it is (I am one of them). So two other folks. FOCKER OUT!!!!!

Our Dear Friend Alcohol

I've decided alcohol is trouble. I once had a wise man tell me "Chris I have pretty much run the gammut as far as drug use goes, and I never made worse decisions than when I was on alcohol". I completely agree with this statement. Then you have these folks who drink to forget their problems. Dont drink to forget, always drink to remember. I know someone who does this. They say they go out to get their mind off their problems and then they end up dwelling on their problems while their drunk. I just heard some stuff that pissed me off about people doing dumb things while drunk and it made me mad. Thats where this whole thing is coming from. BUT....."It's so good when it hits your lips". I have made my fair share of poor decisions while drunk (some more poor than others). But, thankfully, I have been doing that less and less here lately. Im going to try to get really drunk probably tomorrow night, so maybe I will have some bad decisions to tell you all about.

Who woulda thought!!!!

So I changed over to the new version of the blogging software today. Its much better and allows me to change the blog around much more quickly. However, while doing this I found where folks had left me comments on the blog. I have never found this before and since I had the setting set to where I had to approve all comments before they would be posted, I had many comments from as far back as January waiting for approval. Funny thing is, some of them were from people as far away as Australia. I guess these folks randomly just surf various blogs. I would get bored. Anyway. See below for the pics from the Thursday night fashion show and I promise the Christmas at the Playboy Mansion Party pics are coming probably Thursday. I'm still collecting them from various sources.

Southern Glitterati Society Fashion Debut

Well, last Thursday started my weekend early. Leigh had her big fashion line debut at Vicci Thursday night. Leigh is my friend Chuck's girlfriend and Angela was one of the models, so Chuck and I were obligated to attend. We were both a little apprehensive about this but everything worked out fine. I ended up talking to some guy who had apparently been to my place to party before even though I wasnt reminded of it untill much later in the night. It was a pretty big deal as 512 promotions and Bacardi were the title sponsors of the event. Lots of pretty faces came out and watched Leigh and Kaywin do a marvelous job with their initial offerings. We had a few drinks and a great time. Apparently some important folks have taken an interest in the line, so big things may come of this.

Myself Giving Life Lessons to Ang on the Way to the Show

Ang on the Runway with the Other Models After the Show

Chuck, Ang, Liz, Keith and I

Leigh, Ang and I After the Show

Ang, Kaywin (one of the designers), and I in the Dressing Room

Meg and Ang At The End of the Night

Just A Teaser

Here is a teaser for yall. We have tons of pictures from the Christmas party (like 400). Im going to download those pics as well as the pics from the fashion show tomorrow or Monday and post them along with some other stuff when I do.

On another note: CONGRATULATIONS ASHLEY ON YOUR GRADUATION!!!!!

Sometimes Things Just Rub You The Wrong Way

So yesterday I was heading to pick up Angela after work. I was in my car and heading down Guadalupe around 12th Street. This bicycler is out in the travel lane. First, in my opinion bicyclers should act as pedestrians. But, if a bicycler wants to act like a car, thats fine, just dont be a car when it suits you and be a pedestrian when it suits you. So this guy, he's wearing a white shirt, black pants, glasses, has his little helmet on to make sure he's safe. Basically he's an idiot. Well, he is out in traffic until the light turns red, at which point he decides to pass the Enterprise Rent-A-Truck in the crosswalk. The truck almost turns right into him as the truck was turning right when he ran up inside him. He hollers something at the truck and keeps riding. At this point, I pull up behind him and am just cruising behind him. Well, I get a little irritated that he will not move his ass out of the way and let me get past him. So, when there's a gap in the adjacent lane I pull over halfway, more than enough room, and punch it to get past him. I stop at the next redlight and here he comes riding up the inside of the lane again. What does he do when he gets beside me? He squirts the window and the windshield with his water bottle. BAD IDEA. I was having a bad day anyway and I f-ing lost it. He passes the bus thats in front of me at the light. When we start rolling again, I rev it, pull out around the bus (he turns around and starts looking at me when he hears the engine rev up), as he looks I romp on it, pitch the car sideways and point the front end straight at him. He panics, runs up on the curb and damn near drops the bike. I go on about my business and stop at the light at MLK and Guadalupe. Im in the right turn lane and Im still pissed. He's about 100 yards behind me at this point and I put the car in reverse to let him know I see him. He sees the lights and proceeds to shoot me the bird. Once again I completely lose it. I cut the car off right there in the middle of the street and get out of the car. People around me are looking at me like Im crazy. I yell, "Come here, Mother F-er." At this point, he panics. Hes only about twenty yards from me and he can tell this large man in front of him is ready to rip his head off. Im walking at him, ready to rip him off his bicycle. He immediately stops and pedals through the cars to the other side of the road. The whole time I am yelling, "Thats right mother f-er, shoot me the bird again. Not so tough now are you." By this time people in other cars are freaking out. I get back in my car, embarassed as hell for the scene I just made and proceed on my way. Today though, I laugh about it.

Previews of Coming Attractions and Credits of Current Shows

Credit of Current Show: OK...well the Fiji decision was finalized today. I am not going since there was a coup in Fiji today. Holy crap, nothing like a revolution in the country to spoil a vacation. My friend Jon is already there so I am trying to get ahold of him and make sure everything is cool with him. I will have to pick some place else to go for vacation.

Credit of Current Show: So Capital Excavation was set to bid their biggest job ever tomorrow. It was going to go around 25 million and be a really good job. So today, the Department of Transportation goes and pulls the job from the bid schedule. Basically they postponed it. That sucks for everyone who has put a ton of work into getting the job ready.

Credit of Current Show: First time in a while I am caught up on Nip/Tuck after tonight's episode. Lots changed this go round. Christian is now with Michelle, but he just can't seem to get over Kimber. He knows he shouldnt but he still does care. Christian and Shaun are parting ways again. We'll all have to stay tuned till next season, since this go round is over, to see if Christian and Kimber give it a go and Shaun and Christian patch things up.

Previews to Coming Attractions: My friend Leigh's big fashion show this Thursday night at Vicci. She's debuting her clothing line "Southern Glitterati Association". Should be a great time as Bacardi and 512 promotions are hosting it. Im going to go and make sure Chuck stays sane.

Previews to Coming Attractions: Christmas Party this Friday night. Should be a good follow up to the Halloween party with probably fifty or so folks. Theme is interesting. It will either be really good or a total bust. I will divulge the theme if it goes well. We'll see how it plays out.

Previews to Coming Attractions: Capital Excavation Christmas party next Friday night. I've been to a few of these but its always fun to go see everyone that helps pay the bills and shake hands and smile and thank them for a job well done.

Previews to Coming Attractions: Next Friday is also the Tacky Christmas Sweater Party at Britneys. I gotta find an ugly sweater for it.

Previews to Coming Attractions: For those who dont know, I renewed my lease to stay at the current domicile. So since I am going to be here a little while longer, I am going to move forward with putting the hottub in. Going to spruce the place up a little also with some new furniture and some paint on the walls.

HOORAY FOR CHRISTMAS BONUSES...I GOT MINE TODAY!!!!!!

Rally At The Ranch

Well, seven of the lakehouse crew went to the ranch this weekend for some much needed guy time. It was a great group as all of us have known each other for a minimum of six or seven years and most of us have known each other for longer than that. We all had pretty similar ideas about the weekend. You take seven guys who have grown up hunting and riding four wheelers and motorcycles and racing everything in the world, put them on a ranch by themselves, give them large amounts of guns and alcohol and remove all forms of supervision and trouble WILL ensue. We rolled in Friday night about ten and commenced the party Stayed up till about three thirty. Fatalities of Friday night: handle of Jack Daniels and a handle of vodka, three cases of beer, box of 22 shells, half a dozen coons and rabbits, and credibility with the game warden with our resident cop, Robert, firing his 9mm into the air around midnight in hopes of getting our attention.

Saturday morning, none of us hunted as we were all too spent to get up. We sighted rifles in, started drinking about ten, shot skeet, and rode motorcycles pretty much all day. That afternoon I gave everyone a pep talk about how we needed to take some deer off because the biologists had told us we needed to take 90 deer this season and we are way behind schedule. I didnt hunt after putting everyone out and just waited on everyone to call telling me how many deer they had gotten. Well, the call never came. About dark, Chuck and I headed out to pick everyone up. Everyone had confirmed over the radio that none had in fact shot anything. After several beers, this irritated me. As Chuck and I were leaving we see several deer leaving the water tank. It's within about two minutes of being completely dark. I decide we arent leaving empty handed at this point. Here's how it went down.

"Chris, there's five doe leaving the tank"

"I see them, I think Im going to take one"

"It's getting dark pretty quick"

"Hold my beer and find the spotlight"

Chris steps out of the truck and puts the gun across the hood of the truck while Chuck rummages around the find the light in the backseat

"I dont see them Chris"

"Right there damnit, hold the light steady"

"They're behind the powerpole"

"Not for me they're not"

BOOM

"Chuck, I think I missed that deer"

"Lets go see"

"Im pretty sure I missed Chuck. I pulled it off right at the last minute. DAMNIT!"

Chuck and I walk up to where the deer was standing (a long but not a ridiculously long shot) and find no deer

"Chuck, I told you I missed that deer"

"Lets look over here"

Chuck and I find the deer about twenty yards away

"I thought you said you missed?"

"I never miss Chuck. Where's my beer?"

Chuck Pretty Much Summing the Weekend Up In A Picture

(All He Needs Is A Beer)

Damon Airing It Out

Damon Telling Chris Chanler and I How Bad of A Shot Chanler Is

Chanler On A Bike He Can Handle

Eight Seconds

Hey...Im Going To Ride Over This Hill

Shoulda Looked At What Was On the Other Side

Ryan Trying To Jump the Mule

Look At How Much Of A Badass Chris Chanler Is

Chris "The Badass" Chanler

A Smorgasboard of Shit

Well Guys, I take it back. I said in the previous blog post that UT was right back to where we were pre VY days. I was wrong. WE ARE EVEN WORSE THAN THAT. The Alamo Bowl against a 500 Iowa team. You gotta be kidding me. 4th in the Big 12. The team we beat the first weekend of October in Dallas is going to a BCS bowl. Absolutely ridiculous. Way to completely melt down at the end of the season guys. You all now have earned that fifty mile trip south to San Antonio for your bowl.

We got beat in our championship softball game last week. I lost my temper a little bit during the game. I was a little frustrated with our entire team, myself included and was probably a little too vocal about it. Season is now over, BUT we register for the CX basketball league tomorrow.

Went to the ranch with all the lakehouse guys this weekend. Great pics of this coming probably tomorrow.